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“Toads” by Philip Larkin 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 (9 Aug 1922 – 2 Dec 1985)
Why should I let the toad work
Squat on my life?
Can’t I use my wit as a pitchfork
And drive the brute off?
​
Six days of the week it soils
With its sickening poison—
Just for paying a few bills!
That’s out of proportion.
​
Lots of folk live on their wits:
Lecturers, lispers,
Losers, loblolly-men, louts—
They don’t end as paupers;
​
Lots of folk live up lanes
With fires in a bucket,
Eat windfalls and tinned sardines—
They seem to like it.
​
Their nippers have got bare feet,
Their unspeakable wives
Are skinny as whippets—and yet
No one actually starves.
​
Ah, were I courageous enough
To shout, Stuff your pension!
But I know, all too well, that’s the stuff
That dreams are made on:
​
For something sufficiently toad-like
Squats in me, too;
Its hunkers are heavy as hard luck,
And cold as snow,
​
And will never allow me to blarney
My way of getting
The fame and the girl and the money
All at one sitting.
​
I don’t say, one bodies the other
One’s spiritual truth;
But I do say it’s hard to lose either,
When you have both.