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“How I Love You” by Vladimir Nabokov 🇷🇺🇺🇸 (22 Apr 18992 Jul 1977)
Translated from the Russian by the author
Kind of green, kind of gray, i.e.,
striated all over with rain,
and the linden fragrance, so heady,
that I can hardly—Let’s go!
Let’s go and abandon this garden
and the rain that seethes on its paths
between the flowers grown heavy,
kissing the sticky loam.
Let’s go, let’s go before it’s too late,
quick, under one cloak, come home,
while you still are unrecognized,
my mad one, my mad one!
Self-control, silence. But with each year,
to the murmur of trees and the clamor of birds,
the separation seems more offenseful
and the offense more absurd.
And I fear ever more that rashly
I may blab and interrupt
the course of the quiet, difficult speech
long since penetrating my life.
Above red-cheeked slaves
the blue sky looks all lacquered,
and pumped-up clouds
with scarcely discernible jerks move across.
I wonder, is there nowhere a place there,
to lie low—some dark nook
where the darkness might merge
with a wing’s cryptic markings?
(A geometrid thus does not stir
spread flat on a lichened trunk)
What a sunset! And once more tomorrow
and for a long time the heat is to last,
a forecast faultlessly based
on the stillness and on the gnats:
hanging up in an evening sunbeam,
their swarmlet ceaselessly jiggles,
reminding one of a golden toy
in the hands of a mute peddler.
How I love you! In this
evening air, now and then,
the spirit finds loopholes, translucences
in the world’s finest texture.
The beams pass between tree trunks.
How I love you! The beams
pass between tree trunks; they band
the tree trunks with flame. Do not speak.
Stand motionless under the flowering branch,
inhale—what a spreading, what flowing!—
Close your eyes, and diminish, and stealthily into the eternal pass through.